There was a poster that I loved when I was in college. It had a porcelain mask with the girl crying behind it. It really spoke to me as I felt I was often smiling and not letting anyone see how sad and uncomfortable I really was. I desperately wanted to fit in and be well liked, but the whole social scene baffled me most of the time.
As time went on the feelings the mask hid changed. Sometimes it was frustration, other times is was unhappiness. Then there were the times when the mask hid mild depression. I got good at faking it. Sometimes I almost believed that the mask was real.
These days I don't wear the mask as often, but there are still days when I feel I'm stuck behind the smiling mask and all I want to do is cry. But crying comes with explanations and I don't have explanations for how I feel. It's easier to just smile and move on than deal with the sadness.
I wish that there wasn't a mask to hide behind, but then I just might look crazy and emotional and no one wants to be around a crazy, emotional mess. Therefore the mask stays firmly in place and I smile and go on as if nothing is wrong. Until I hit a point I can't and then I take a moment to myself, cry it out and most of the time I feel better.
I guess everyone wears a mask at one time or another. Everyone feel insecure and finds it easier to hide behind a mask than let everything show. Smiling and moving forward is just what people do.
What mask do you hide behind?
I thInk we all need masks in order to keep our sanity sometimes. If we were to always to allow our emotions to show then we would also upset those around us. Which would upset us further, and so the cycle goes.
ReplyDeleteThere are times it is necessary to hide behind our masks for the good of everyone.
Excellent post. I'm here from the Spin Cycle linkup.
ReplyDeleteI tend to hide behind a mask of humor. It works out usually, though. If I'm unsure, or not confident, or just scared or don't know what the heck I'm doing, I find a little levity helps me until I can get there.
Yes, I think it's fair to say everyone does at one point or another. I try not to hide things anymore - feel like I don't have time for it. But the mask resurfaces now and then. :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you...sometimes it's so much easier to say everything is fine and just hide the tears! I do that, too.
ReplyDeleteI am guilty of hiding behind a big mask on a bad moment. So much easier to respond "life is fine." Too bad it is a complete lie.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!