Pour Your Heart Out

Shell at Things I Can't Say is hosting Pour your heart out Wednseday again.


I have a hard time making friends.  I'm shy and don't want to look like a fool when I approach other people.  Once I get to know someone, I'm fun and outgoing and try to be a good friend.  But the meeting is oh so difficult for me.  I have met some really great people though.  A couple of times by no effort of my own and once by putting myself out there.

In college, I didn't click with my roommate.  We got along but were not close friends.  I liked to hang out in the lobby of the floor I lived on in the dorms and study.  There was just enough distraction to make studying easier for me.  There was a girl from the other side of the hall that was going in and out with her friends and roommate.  She paused and asked what I was doing on her first trip through.  On the following trips she asked other questions and I answered and the evening passed and I got some studying done.  Finally, she paused on yet another trip through the lobby and said "Your going the McDonalds with us."  I was like but I have no money and stuff to do, but she wouldn't take no for an answer.  So I got my coat and went with her.  She turned out to be the one friend I still talk to from college (not counting my husband).  In this instance I just had to go along for the ride.  It was nice because I had not made more than acquaintances so far in my college career.

The next friend I made came a few years later when I was working at Penney's.  She was younger than me but we clicked when we talked at work.  We started hanging out and were friends for years.  She started the conversation though.  I would probably never have talked to her if she hadn't said something first.  Again my shy side says that it's better not to get shot down. 

As I grew and became a mom, I found that I could make acquaintances but making close friends still escaped me.  It always seemed so one sided--me trying and setting up the meetings and everything.  Them just being nice and agreeing.  Probably not that bad but that's what it felt like.

So I went back to school when Turbo was 15 months old because the job market was sad and I wanted to do something more than retail.  Also, Nick had just gotten his geology degree and I liked the stuff he talked about.  I was in about my third or fourth class and there was this girl who had been in a couple of those classes with me and she seemed nice.  I sucked up my courage and asked if she would like to study with me for an up coming test.  She said sure and we started to hang out and she became one of my best friends. Sadly she has since moved to Houston, so the friendship is a bit long distance now.

So there you have it my friend finding sagas.  I turned to blogging because there is less of that face to face uncomfortable stuff I'm not so good at.  I have made some friends.  I keep hoping that I'll find someone here where I live but for now I have an outlet with the blogging and it works.