Classified adds, MEme Monday

SupahMommy is once again hosting All about MEme Monday.  A newspaper is rumored to be in the works and there is a call for want adds.

Here are mine:
WANTED
Dishwasher for family of four.  Will need to scrape dishes, wash dishes and hunt for dishes all over house.  Much relieved mother will pay well for help.  No other perks.  Needed immediately.

WANTED
Plumbing that works.  Will require draining well and no backups.  So tired of needing plumber every two years. 

FOR SALE
One six year old.  Comes with toys and clothes.  Will take any offer.  Comes as is, no refunds or exchanges.  (Caution: do not add sugar or caffine.  Previous owners not responsible for child's actions if given these substances.)

FOR SALE
One slightly used bed.  Mother exploring the wide realm of not sleeping at night.  Children helping with this endeavor.  She no longer needs bed as she is constantly out of it and no longer remembers what it is like to sleep all night.  Any offers will be appreciated.  Funds needed to pay for therapist when children are gone. (Mother will need to be retrained how to sleep).