Thursday, January 19, 2012

Spin Cycle--Take a stand

This weeks Spin Cycle is taking a stand.  This one is hard for me because while I feel strongly aobut certain issues, I'm not one for really advocating for my position.  I'd have never been able to get involved in the protests of the 60s, at least not as a leader.
But there is one issue that I think I could really get behind.  I'm sure every one has heard about the Mommy Wars.  You know, the moms who get all self righteous about their way of parenting, the ones who get judgmental about how another mom is parenting?  Yeah, those moms.  I really think we should all agree to disagree about the "right " way to parent and realize there are just as many ways to parent as there are different kids out there.
I know just in my house, we have different strategies in dealing with the boys.  Overall the style is the same but we have to refine the approach for each boy due to age and temperament.  I've encountered other parents who I truly believe are doing a disservice to their children due to their parenting style, but that's their style and who am I to criticize?
But there are highly pushy people out there who believe that their way is the only way and if everyone would follow what they do everything would be just dandy.  And if you aren't doing things their way then you are a terrible person and they don't hesitate to say so.
Thing would be a whole lot easier if it were a one size fits all world, but it's not.  Why can't more people realize this?  It would stop a lot of the fights and arguments about who's a better parent.  It could stop the mommy wars all together.
So, I have my style and you have yours.  Let agree that the style we are using works for us and just not worry about the other person, OK?

This spin brought to you by the always stimulating Gretchen at Second Blooming.

Second Blooming


  1. Amen, sister! Here in LA there is a huge contingency of super artsy, politically-correct all-organic moms who are full of opinions which they think they must share with everybody. I have heard women go off on how bad the snack is somebody's given their kid, the evils of bottle feeding, that circumcising your son is mutilation, that someones water bottle is leaching chemicals into their child's body. Freaky.

    You are LINKED!

  2. I completely agree with you on this one! There are so many ways to parent and it has to fit not just you, but your child as well. If it's not the right fit, it won't work for your family. Being a mom is hard enough as it is without pushy people judging other moms!

  3. Oh man. Right now I'm dealing with Mommy Wars over homeschooling vs public school. It makes me ill.

  4. I'm standing right behind you, Vandy! (Mostly cuz that mama with the mean expression is coming' right at us..) :-)
    I get called out BY FAMILY on the fact that Sprite goes to daycare, but she looks well adjusted, has made a lot of friends that we see every weekend, and she's happy. So there. :-)

  5. SERIOUSLY! Who the hell gets to be the judge over right and wrong? It's very upsetting to me. The biggest issue for me is nursing. If I want to nurse my child, I will. If I don't want to, then don't make me feel like I'll be killing my baby by giving it formula!

  6. Amen sister I agree not everyone parents the same way and you have to do whats right for you and your family

  7. Totally agree, sister! Woot woot!

    That is what makes it great. Different strokes for different folks. Variety is good.

  8. AMEN!!! Not only do families parent differently, but you said it, you parent different children differently because... that's what works!

  9. This touched a nerve! I recently ran into that on a blog I read. This woman was insisting that her way of thinking was the right thing for every family. And the comments cheered her on for her boldness. I decided it wasn't worth the time to comment.

    I had plenty ideas of what "good parenting" was before I became a parent. Or rather, plenty ideas of what was BAD parenting. Now I just feel like we're all doing the best we can do today. Tomorrow is another day. None of us are getting it 100% right. It'd be nice to just give each other a break.

  10. SOOOO true! I always wonder what is going through someones head when they think that they seriously have the only right way to do something. I'm on board with this ending of the mommy wars. Let's start a revolution! LOL

  11. I do agree with you on this. Those moms get my gander up too!

  12. Absolutely! As moms, we should be supporting each other, not tearing each other down. My friends and I have had this conversation; over working vs. staying home, breastfeeding vs. bottle, and the list goes on!

  13. Ugh. Those moms are the worst. I agree that one way is not the right way for everyone. And as long as your kids are doing what you think needs to be done then that is enough.


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