Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out--Hurting for Turbo

I'm joining in with Shell's Pour Your Heart Out today.  

A few weeks ago Turbo came to us and said he didn't like school so much.  We asked him why.  He had a hard time telling us.  We asked about his teacher--we had trouble with his teacher last year--but no, he loves his teacher this year.  We asked about his schoolwork, but he is doing OK with that.  We asked about his friends and that's when he said it.

"I never get picked first for games on the play ground, I always get picked last.  No one wants to play with me."

Oh, how my heart hurt for him.  This was his first experience with school yard rejection.  What do you do for a seven year old who just wants to be friends with everyone?  You can't go charging in and make it all better. 

Even if you want to.

We are pretty sure that he hasn't been bullied, just excluded.  And that hurts too.

Nick talked to him about things he can do to have fun with his friends and things he can do to be included.  It's tough for a seven year old to navigate the social ins and outs of the play ground.  And Nick and I are really just cheerleaders now, not so much active participants.  Turbo has to do this one for himself.

Turbo says things have been better.  He has been included more and is playing with his friends.  Of course being inside for recess makes the dynamics different.  And I can only hope that things continue to go well for him.  But oh, how I hurt for his tears and frustrations in being a kid.  And I know this is only the first of many of these kinds of things he will have hurt feelings over.  I just hope he continues to feel he can come to us and tell us about them.


  1. I think I hurt more intensely over my Midget's childhood struggles than I did my own. It's hard to see your kids in pain. I'm glad things are better for him now though.

  2. Stopping by from shell's PYHO. My heart hurt when I read your post. It's just not that easy for some kids to make friends. Especially in teh school setting. They simply don't have much time to do it. I hope he finds a connection with someone. Just one good friend makes it all better. :){{HUGS}}

  3. Oh, I feel your pain. We never want our kids to go through feeling left out.

    Glad to hear that things have been better for him!

  4. I'm glad things are getting better for him.

  5. Ugh. It's so true when you say that this is just the beginning of hurt feelings. It's so hard not to step in and fix it but it's all part of growing up. And kids are so fickle. One day he might be excluded, the next he might be the most popular. It's great he shares his feelings with you.

  6. poor can be so cruel without even trying to be cruel. i suppose it is a good life lesson though. no matter how good of a person you are you may be picked last. sucks but it is true. life is kind of mean like that.

  7. That just breaks my heart. You guys are so right though, definitely something he will have to navigate for himself. I've noticed my oldest in preschool has that happen sometimes too. What happend to just all playing together??? So frustrating!

  8. Oh no! I hope things get better for him soon!


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