Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out--Mom Guilt

 

I have a bad case of the blahs.
Things are changing in my world--I'm going full time at work and having to rely more on the grandparents and while the job thing is good for me, I can't help feeling a bit guilty about not being with Bruiser as much.  I have worked part time since he was 12 weeks old.  I have been there for his mile stones-first word, first step, first tooth, but now I'm going to be around him even less.  These are feelings that every working mom must have, but I can't help feeling guilty.
We are lucky that we have grandparents who are willing and able to watch Bruiser and Turbo when we need them too. It good for the kids and good for the grandparents.  And I know I'd slowly--OK not so slowly--go nuts at home with Bruiser all day.  I'm not super engaged mom, I don't do crafts and activities, but still the niggling feeling of guilt is there.
And really, I worked and went to school when Turbo was little.  So both boys are getting about the same amount of mommy time.  But, but, well I can't help but feel that I'm short changing Bruiser some how.  I guess I just have to be happy that I'm working a job that is flexible so I can be there for either boy when they need me.  And that is the definition of mom right--being there when the chips are down? 
I will just have to work through the blahs and keep as positive as I can that this change is the best for our family--I know the money is going to be appreciated.
IF you have something to get get off your chest, get it out and go link with Shell at Things I Can't Say.

8 comments:

m&msmommy said...

Wow, our posts are very similar! I also have someone watching Mia who I ADORE (the lady who matched Manuel from teh time he was 8 months old-4 years old), and who I trust completely. But it's still hard!

My job is also very flexible so I can be there for the important stuff...doctors appts, field trips, etc. but still, I'm blah about it!

Thanks for stopping by! :)

Sprite's Keeper said...

Would you believe I wrote about this very thing almost two years ago and never had the guts to post it? I think you've given me the boost I need to do it. Thanks!

Shell said...

That definitely is the definition of mom.

Sometimes I feel bad for being at home with my kids b/c we have less money and we can't give them all the extras.

kyooty said...

I understand, until last month I hadn't worked at a "J_O_B" in 12yrs. Now in an effort to procrastinate the staying home gig, I'm selling Avon.

Myya said...

How wonderful that the grandparents are so availiable for you guys. I am sure your little guys know how great of a Mommy you are & just think with you being away more, you will enjoy the together even more. Good luck with the new full time gig.

Myya said...

Oh & I forgto to say... LOVE the spider background. Too cute!

Cassie said...

I've been experiencing the blahs for a similar reason. I'm only working part time but am feeling stretched too thin to still be doing all the activities my kids are presently in. I hate to ask them to give things up but how long can I burn the candle at both ends??? I hope you have some success with the balance in your life.

shortmama said...

I can understand that. I worked for the first 2 years of Rhiannons life and it killed me to be away from her so much. Ive been at home almost 7 years now and cant imagine having to go back to work again. But sometimes its hard when you know that if you did work that maybe you could afford more luxuries...but that just isnt important enough to me!

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