Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out--Mom Guilt

 

I have a bad case of the blahs.
Things are changing in my world--I'm going full time at work and having to rely more on the grandparents and while the job thing is good for me, I can't help feeling a bit guilty about not being with Bruiser as much.  I have worked part time since he was 12 weeks old.  I have been there for his mile stones-first word, first step, first tooth, but now I'm going to be around him even less.  These are feelings that every working mom must have, but I can't help feeling guilty.
We are lucky that we have grandparents who are willing and able to watch Bruiser and Turbo when we need them too. It good for the kids and good for the grandparents.  And I know I'd slowly--OK not so slowly--go nuts at home with Bruiser all day.  I'm not super engaged mom, I don't do crafts and activities, but still the niggling feeling of guilt is there.
And really, I worked and went to school when Turbo was little.  So both boys are getting about the same amount of mommy time.  But, but, well I can't help but feel that I'm short changing Bruiser some how.  I guess I just have to be happy that I'm working a job that is flexible so I can be there for either boy when they need me.  And that is the definition of mom right--being there when the chips are down? 
I will just have to work through the blahs and keep as positive as I can that this change is the best for our family--I know the money is going to be appreciated.
IF you have something to get get off your chest, get it out and go link with Shell at Things I Can't Say.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Random Tuesday

 randomtuesday

So Tuesday, yeah--something about Random Thoughts?  Hold that thought---OK back now and I think I'm up for this--of course I been 'up' since 6:20 this morning--shower, dishes, breakfast for two small boys, tea for me, and out the door to work by 7:27--is it any wonder I'm tired?
  • Bruiser has taken to laughing like a loon at the vacuum.  He thinks the silly thing is hilarious.  What ever floats your boat I guess.
  • We have snow here.  Not a lot but the white stuff has fallen.  And so it begins.
  • Nick has been hit with a rearranging bug.  He attacked the basement last night.  Our family room is down there, so is our bedroom.  Now I'm running into everything.  Bruises are fun.
  • I have more hours at work, but now I'm tired all the time.  No more naps for mom.  I miss naps.
  • I'm so looking forward to the time change.  I need that hour back and then the mental feeling of getting up later--it really helps.
  • Bruiser has discovered Scooby Doo--he calls him BeeDoo.  And demands to watch him all the time--and only watches maybe 10 minutes before doing something else.  The crazy great dane rules in our house.
That about does it for random here--go see Keely--oh wait she's out so go see her sub FoN at the UnMom.  Random up people.

    Monday, October 25, 2010

    Monday Minute and Meet me on Monday

     
    (1) Have you ever been hospitalized? (OK, maybe that one isn't so upbeat)  Yes, in 2007 I got eight fun filled days in the hospital to have kidney stones removed and recover.  It was an adventure.
    (2) What’s the last bit of good news you received?  That I get to go full time and have benefits at my job.
    (3) Who was your favorite teacher?  My favorite teacher was one of my professors in college.  She was a great teacher as well as a professor.
    (4) Do you sing in the shower?  No, I only sing along to the radio Showers are so early in the morning I'm not awake enough to remember the words, let alone sing.
    (5) Describe the happiest day of your life.  The happiest?  That's hard to choose.  There are so many happy days--getting engaged, getting married, the honeymoon, having Turbo, having Bruiser, But looking back on it I'd have to say that to have had any of those I'd have to have met Nick, so the happiest day of my life had to be Feb. 26, 1993.  That was the date of my first date with Nick, the day it all started.  Nick took me to see Groundhog Day with Bill Murray at the theater and we got pizza and rented some more movies and went to his place to watch them--a great evening that led to many more to come.






    1. Do you sleep with a night light on?  We have one in the master bath so you don't have to turn on the light at night--not so important for me, but a definite necessity for Nick.  It also helps to navigate to little boys who need mom in the night.  I hate kicking things in the dark.  A cursing mom is no comfort.
    2. What do you drink with dinner?  A 7-up, root beer, or other caffeine free drink, or maybe a glass of water or milk--or a nice glass of wine if it's been that kind of day.
    3. Do you play the lottery? If so, how often?  We play scratch and wins, but not the lottery.  W have to go to Colorado to get tickets so it's not really easy to play.
    4. How often do you go to the grocery store?  Once a week.  We don't have to buy lots of meat, just veggies and dairy stuff and the staples to stock up on--we watch the sales pretty closely.
    5. Would you rather travel back in time 500 years or travel forward 500 years?  Travel back--but only if I can go and be sure I'd have lots of money--500 years ago was not a good time to be poor.


    Now go link the first five questions with Christy and the last five with Never Growing old.

    Friday, October 22, 2010

    Five Question Friday--Gypsies and toes


    Time for Five Question Friday.  Answer then up and go link at My Little Life.


    1. Who is the better cook, you or your spouse?  We are both pretty good. 

    2. How often do you talk to your mom?  Practically daily, she watches Bruiser while I work.

    3. Are you adventurous in the kitchen or stick to the recipe?  I am more stick to the recipe, Nick is more adventurous.  I'm learning to experiment with ingredients and sometimes I can come up with edible results.  Sometimes they crash and burn.

    4. Is your second toe longer than your big toe?  No, I have lovely feet.  Not mutant weird feet. 

    5. Do you dress up for Halloween? (Bonus question: What will you be this year?)  We have since Turbo started kindergarten.  He has a friend that has a birthday on Halloween and we all get to dress up and go.  This year I will be a gypsy/fortune teller, I have the clothes and just need get a crystal ball.  It will be fun.

    I'm linking up with:

    Thursday, October 21, 2010

    Spin Cycle--Then and Now

    small cycle

    This week's Spin Cycle is about then and now.  You know, how it was then and how it is now.  I've been thinking about this a lot and the main thing that has come to me is fashion. 

    THEN: Jeans


    NOW: jeans
    



    THEN: shirts

    NOW: shirts

    THEN: boots

    NOW: Boots

    Really, the colors have changed--somewhat, but the styles--right back to what I was wearing in high school--they just have cooler names now--like boyfriend shirts, boyfriend jeans, skinny jeans, slouch boots, etc.  I think it's amusing to walk through the stores and see the clothes I wore in high school back on the racks.  Although acid washed has not really made a come back--yet.
    And blessedly the big hair has, so far, stayed in the 80's.

    Head on over to Jen at Sprite's Keeper for more then and now spins.

    Wednesday, October 20, 2010

    Random Dozen--linking later


    Time for the Random Dozen with Linda at 2nd Cup of Coffee.  She was running a bit late so the link up will happen tomorrow.

    1. Do you prefer to read the book or see the movie?  Most of the time I prefer the book to the movie, but I have seen some movies that were better than the book--Stardust by Neil Gaimon--the movie was much better than the book.  And Practical Magic, the movie was better than the book, by far. 

    2. What is your favorite holiday and why?  Fourth of July--we go camping with friends and have a great time out in the mountains.
    3. Which do you like better - the mountains or the beach?  Love to vacation at the beach, but need to have the mountains close enough to see and visit regularly, so it would have to be the mountains.
    4. If money were no consideration, what vehicle would you drive?  I want a Tahoe, or Yukon--something big enough to seat seven or eight, pull the camper, and go up a mountain road without tearing out the bottom.
    5. What is your favorite cold-weather beverage?  Hot chia tea or hot cider--depending on the acitvity.  And you can't beat hot cocoa after sledding or cross-country skiing
    6. How do you communicate most often with your friends: phone, email, text, face-to-face, or Facebook?  By phone or by Facebook.  These lead to face-to-face meetings.
    7. How do you receive your mail? Mailbox on the porch, at the end of the driveway, down the street, or post office box?  Mailbox on the porch--with a table under it for packages.
    8. Of the four basic personality types - sanguine, phlegmatic, melancholic, and choleric - which is your strongest? Which is your least evident? (See definitions below.)  Strongest--Phlegmatic, Weakest--Sanguine
    9. What do you miss the most about being 20?  The lack of responsibility.  I didn't have nearly the bills and small people depending on me.  The freedom of 20 is what I miss.
    10. How long from the time you get up, does it take you to get ready to walk out the door in the morning?  About 20 minutes, for myself.  That's leaving bed to walking out the door.  But that does not count the boys.  tehy can add untold time to the morning routine.
    11. Who handles the car maintenance and pays the bills in your family?  Nick covers most of the car maintenance, I write out the bills that get mailed each month.
    12. For those in the US, how many states have you visited? For those outside the US, how many provinces/other countries have you visited?  I have visited 22 states, so far.

    Personality type definitions courtesy Wikipedia:
    Sanguine
    The Sanguine temperament personality is fairly extroverted. People of a sanguine temperament tend to enjoy social gatherings, making new friends and tend to be quite loud. They are usually quite creative and often daydream. However, some alone time is crucial for those of this temperament. Sanguine can also mean very sensitive, compassionate and thoughtful. Sanguine personalities generally struggle with following tasks all the way through, are chronically late, and tend to be forgetful and sometimes a little sarcastic. Often, when pursuing a new hobby, interest is lost quickly when it ceases to be engaging or fun. They are very much people persons. They are talkative and not shy. For some people, these are the ones you want to be friends with and usually they become life long friends.

    Choleric
    A person who is choleric is a doer. They have a lot of ambition, energy, and passion, and try to instill it in others. They can dominate people of other temperaments, especially phlegmatic types. Many great charismatic military and political figures were cholerics. They like to be leaders and in charge of everything.

    Melancholic
    A person who is a thoughtful ponderer has a melancholic disposition. Often very considerate and get rather worried when they could not be on time for events, melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art - and can become occupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. A melancholic is also often a perfectionist. They are often self-reliant and independent; one negative part of being a melancholic is sometimes they can get so involved in what they are doing they forget to think of others.

    Phlegmatic
    Phlegmatics tend to be self-content and kind. They can be very accepting and affectionate. They may be very receptive and shy and often prefer stability to uncertainty and change. They are very consistent, relaxed, rational, curious, and observant, making them good administrators and diplomats.

    Tuesday, October 19, 2010

    Random Tuesday

    randomtuesday


    Well Tuesday, we meet again.  In fact, we meet every week about this time.  You'd think it wouldn't surprise me any more, but it always does.  Anyway, throw out all your random thoughts, toss them in a post and go link up with Keely.  She's got this random thing going on.


    • I processed beets last night.  I baked them and then skinned them and they are waiting in the fridge for dinner tonight.  By the time I was done the sink looked like a small massacre had happened.  Beets are fun.
    • Bruiser has a slight cold, or maybe he's working on more teeth, whichever, the kid was up all night Sunday night.  And I had no back up.  I was seriously dragging butt yesterday.  
    • Nick comes home today!!
    • They did not get as many elk as they were hoping, but he is bringing some meat home.
    • We watched How to Train Your Dragon about four times this weekend.  It's pretty good.  Turbo loves it and now wants to be a viking for Halloween.  This could be interesting.  Anyone know how the make a viking helmet--the costumes they have in the store are awful.  I'm seeing a trip to the store for fake fur and just making a helmet out of paper mache--maybe.
    • There is an owl that lives on the campus where I work and this morning a grow of crows were hassling it to move from where it had perched on a building.  They succeeded, but the owl did not go very far--just to a large pine tree near by.  The whole thing was pretty neat to see--if a bit noisy.  Crows are loud.
    • We put out our Halloween decorations--mostly window clings and pictures.  I have lights but was not that motivated--maybe with Nick home.  Hard to think Halloween is less than two week away.  But the week after that is my favorite time of year--daylight savings ends!
    Go out and be random.  It's good for the soul, if not the brain.

    Monday, October 18, 2010

    Monday Minute

    Time for the Monday Minute with our lovely hostess Christy.  After a weekend alone with my boys, I'm ready for this Monday.  So here goes:

    (1) Did you play any sports growing up?  I was never an organized sport type person--I tended to get out of the way of the balls flying at me rather than try to hit them in another direction.  But I found my place my freshman year of high school when I went out for the swim team.  I swam for all four years of high school and actually enjoyed it.

    (2) Have you ever gotten an MIP (apparently people don't know what this is. I guess it's the dorky law school part of me, sorry! Haha...it's a minor in possession)?  No I never got a MIP.  I did not party in high school and the parties I went to in college, the cops just made sure the person driving was sober when they would bust up a party.  In high school I would hear people talking about going cross-country running with the help of the police over the past weekend, but I never made it to any of those parties.

    (3) Do you snore or sleepwalk?  I don't snore unless I'm sick.  Nick, he snores, and sleepwalks.  Turbo sleepwalks too, just like his dad.  Not sure whether Bruiser will-so far he doesn't, but then he can't get out of his crib yet to try.

    (4) Describe your last dream.  Something crazy about owing money to someone who wanted the haunted mansion I was living in and trying to come up with that money.  Things were kind of confused. What can I say--I watched a lot of Scooby Doo this weekend.

    (5) What's the one thing you've been meaning to do that you just haven't gotten to?  Nick and I have set a sort of goal for ourselves--we want to visit every national park west of the Mississippi River.  One that is almost literally in our back yard is Rocky Mountain National Park.  We have yet to go there.  We make the plan to go every summer, but then never have the time or money to go.  Maybe next summer--story of my life. ( We have however visited seven parks and three National Monuments.  We have a ways to go but it will be fun going.)


    Now go answer the questions for yourself and link up at Christy's.

    Friday, October 15, 2010

    Friday Confessional



    Time to confess all with Glamazon--go on, it'll be good for you.
    I confess:
    • I'm sort of liking having Nick gone for hunting
    • Oh, I miss him, but the break is good--right?
    • I hate parent teacher conferences
    • Hated them when I was a kid--what if I was bad (not that I ever was but still, it's like seeing a cop when you are driving--you immediately slow down and get all careful because you never know)
    • Now I hate them because I still feel that I'm going to the principal's office--someone else is judging my kid.  Does it reflect on me?  Is he good?  Is he smart?  Or am I just a nutty, neurotic mom?
    • I've washed the taunting towels and left them to sit in the dryer.  That'll show those cheeky towels.
    • I haven't been to the movies--like with overpriced popcorn and darkness--for like four years now.
    • To be honest, I haven't missed it.  I usually freeze my feet at the theater.
    • Cheaper and more convenient to stay home and rent.
    • I have no idea what to get Bruiser for Christmas.  Turbo is no problem--some legos, some K'nex and he's good to go.  Bruiser, now he more difficult--not quite ready for Thomas, and we still have all the Thomas stuff from his big brother--not quite ready for big boy toys.  And I don't want to invest lots in stuff he won't use for very long. 
    • I think some Internet hunting is in order for the poor kid.
    • It's complicated by the fact that his birthday is only one month after Christmas. 
    • And yes I realize that one's part my fault, part his--the kid was two weeks early.
    OK that covers my confessions for this week.

    Spin Cycle--Kids--Having Fun!


    small cycle





    I'm climbing mom!  Can't get me!
    Chillin' and relaxin'.  Bruiser so wants to be just like Turbo.
    Vroom, Vroom!
    I'll make it go!
    We are gettin' ready to GO!
    Aren't we looking good?
     This is how you make it go--come on, let's get this show on the road--do I have to do everything myself?!
    Let's go Daddy!

    Go see Jen at Sprite's Keeper for more collage spins.

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