Spiders, creepy crawlies, and large groups, oh my!

The Spin Cycle this week is fears. I don’t have many but spiders and bugs freak me out. I don’t like anything with more than four legs. The way they move and the way they just appear out of seemingly nowhere. Yuck.

And why do bugs always appear in the tub? It never fails that I go to take a bath and there is a bug or spider big as life in the tub. Full body shake. Ewww!

Nick is a great bug and spider slayer. He knows that when he hears a squawk there is a spider or buggy to get. They get lovely burials at sea (flushed) or fiery ends (if we have the fire going). When he is gone I have to buck up and get rid of them myself. I wield a mean shoe and I’m pretty good with toilet paper mash maneuvers. But I still wince and sometimes scream at the sight of something with more than four legs.

Outside, I’m better but the flying, buzzing bugs make me freak out sometime when they get close to me. It’s awful to see a grown woman shying and running for the house because of a bee or hornet. Even worse when they get inside. Once I was trapped upstairs because there was a hornet in the satirwell. I say better to avoid them than get stung.

I could never live in a part of the country where the bugs get big. Here in Wyoming they don’t have the chance to get really big before they are killed by the cold weather.

I also have a fear of large unfamiliar groups. I don’t do well in public settings where I don’t know people. I’m somewhat shy and, I guess, afraid of making a fool of myself. Also, what if they make fun of me, or just don’t like me? Leftovers from high school I think. I was never popular but really wanted to fit in. I don’t put myself out there where I can get hurt very often. Doing unfamiliar things can bring out the feeling of fear as well. They usually go well but you never know how it’s going to turn out. I’m trying to get better.

I don’t want to let these fears infect my boys. I might have failed on the spider front with Turbo. He dislikes spiders as much as I do. But he likes bugs and caterpillars like any normal boy. My hope is to raise boys that have a healthy respect for the dangers the world holds but that they do not actively fear going out into that world. They have a great role model in Nick. He can walk into any situation and make friends with anyone. It is a skill I envy.