Thursday, November 8, 2012

Spin Cycle--In Memorium

The spin cycle this week is all about those we've lost.  Saying good bye.
Our family has been lucky the last year, we haven't lost anyone close to us. Therefore I'm taking this in a bit of a different direction.  My father committed suicide when I was 3 months old.  I never really knew him.  So I'm going to write him a letter telling all that I wished he knew.

Dear Dad,
Hi.  I am your daughter.  You didn't stay long enough to really get to know me and I'm sorry for that. I'm not sure what drove you to end your life, but here is a bit about the life of your little girl.
I'm married to the love of my life, my college sweetheart.  I think you would have approved of him, he is a wonderful person.
I have two little boys who are the light of my life while they provide me with endless joy they also frustrate me to no end.  Turbo is nine now and obsessed with legos and video games.  Bruiser is three and very much a boy.  He loves to be outside and he loves drawing.
I have two college degrees, one in history and one in geology.  I'm actually working as a geologist/data base coordinator.  It's interesting work.
I wonder what my life would have been like had you not died.  I have missed you at certain moments, but my mom has stepped up and tried to help fill the void, especially at my wedding.  I think that is the moment I missed having a father the most.
I'm told I look like you.  Which is a nice thing, it gives me a connection to you.  I was close with Aunt A, your sister. She really stepped up and tried to keep things special for me.
A picture of my mom and dad at their wedding, one of the best picture I have of him.
I regret all we missed out on.  I wish you could see me now.  I think you would be proud of me.

Your daughter,
Vandy

Now go see Gretchen for more in memory posts.  She's the Spin Cycle guru.
Second Blooming

10 comments:

Michele said...

So sad, that you never knew your dad. I'm sure that he would have been very proud of you. Your mother and aunt sounds like a wonderful women.

gretchen said...

Oh Vandy, I'm so sorry you lost your dad at such an early age. His pain must have been very great. Your mother must have been very strong. I love that after growing up without a father, you are now in a home surrounded by men and boys!

You are linked!

allstarme said...

Wow, I didn't know that. But a touching letter nevertheless.

MiMi said...

Oh no. I didn't know this. :(

Jill said...

It makes me sad to think you never got to know your dad. I miss my dad every day, so much. I worry sometimes about getting married, and how much I will miss not having him to walk me down the aisle, so I can understand how you felt on your wedding day.

I hope writing this letter to him helped you work out your feelings about it. Very nice.

Jo said...

O Vandy, I'm so sorry that you missed out on having a dad. What a pity that he has missed out on you and your boys

becca said...

so sorry to hear this I had no idea hugs sweetie and what a beautiful tribute

viewfromdownhere said...

Oh Vandy, I had no idea. That letter had to have been so hard to write. But I hope it gave you peace to put it out there.

Janice Adcock said...

If there is ever a time when this old southern expressions is just right it is now, Bless your heart.

Kendra said...

Vandy--this letter made me cry. I'm so sorry that you've had this loss to deal with for so long. The letter was wonderful though.

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